


28 Reasons Why Humanity's Soldiers are Single

by asdfgjkl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Drabble, Humor, Multi, shipfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 17:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1234633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdfgjkl/pseuds/asdfgjkl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In short, titans over romance.</p>
<p>Most of the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	28 Reasons Why Humanity's Soldiers are Single

**Author's Note:**

> To spur my writing juices. Aside from that, I don't have much of an excuse.

**7 Reasons Why Erwin Smith is Single**

1) He doesn't know when he'll die. Therefore, he doesn't want to burden others with his love.

2) How many short-statured, black-haired man do you think lives within the wall?

3) How many short-statured, black-haired, foul-mouthed man do you think lives within the wall?

4) How many short-statured, black-haired, foul-mouthed, insanely-skilled man do you think lives within the wall?

5) One.

6) He's pretty sure he's morphed into an asexual, old man.

7) Titans.

**6 Reasons Why Eren Jaeger is Single**

1) Mikasa

2) Mikasa.

3) No, seriously,  _Mikasa_.

4) The only other person who isn't afraid of Mikasa isn't interested.

5) Damn it.

6) Titans.

**5 Reasons Why Levi is Single**

1) Sex drools, cleaning rules.

2) He is overwhelmed with the number of options he could choose from.

3) He doesn't want to only pick  _one_.

4) Maybe if Erwin and Eren agreed to a threesome. . .

5) Titans.

**4 Reasons Why Hange Zoë**   **is Single**

1) She isn't.

2) She's seeing someone.

3) Her lab.

4) (And cheating with titans).

**3 Reasons Why Sasha Blouse is Single**

1) Potato-marriage isn't legalized yet.

2) Beef-marriage isn't legalized yet.

3) Bread-marriage isn't legalized yet.

**2 Reasons Why Jean Kirschtein is Single**

1) Marco.

2) Bodt.

**1 Reason Why Mikasa Ackerman is Single**

1) Really now?


End file.
